Let It Go- Day 3

And THIS is why I can't really be a "true blogger". I don't write daily or weekly, I don't even write bi-weekly, and I still can't stick to a schedule. 8 ~9 days a month. That's all that's required and I still can't get it done *facepalm*

I tried again today. I opened my closet again, and tried. And failed. I managed to get a SINGLE shirt and a SINGLE jacket. Everything just has its own purpose. The fear of needing things after you've gotten rid of them, there must be a word for that. Especially since it actually happens to me all the time.  I once held onto an old piece of Velcro for almost a year. It was just a little scrap, not even the size of the space bar on most keyboards. I tossed it out because I was cleaning and hadn't used it for anything. THE VERY NEXT DAY I was making something for my class and what did I need? Just a little bit of....VELCRO.

With that in mind, I was more than hesitant, but was able to force myself to toss a SINGLE t-shirt and a pair of Coach heels. It's not like I wore the heels, or even liked them, but they were COACH...dang

Let It Go- Day 2

Now that the pain that is "inventory" has been completed, onto the actual "letting go".

I was very driven when I flung my closet doors open, ready to do some "life lightening" this morning. Yeah...easier said than done. After touching almost EVERYTHING in my closet/drawers at least once, I realized that I may have some "ownership" issues.

Now, why on Earth would I think that? It's quite simple, actually. Despite the fact that I know my reasons for holding onto things are stupid, I still own them. What kind of stupid? THIS kind of stupid...*Stop me if you've heard any of these before*

- He bought them for me and I've never traveled there (gift from an ex-boyfriend)
- The store is gone! I can't buy any more! (t-shirts from my favorite *now non-existent* store)
- What if we become friends again? (cards/things from people I never want to see again)
- They were on sale! (The Raptor shoes...death-sentence footwear I bought in Taiwan)
- It was expensive! ($90 jacket I purchased and wore ONCE)
- It's pretty! (Dress I got on sale that I'll likely never have an occasion to wear in public)


And so it began. I grabbed a bookmark and some jewelry first and tossed them into a bag. Not only do I not like those items, but I straight up despise the people who gave them to me. Why do I still have stuff from the only ex-boyfriend to make me cry like a pansy? No, really...WHY?! Why am I so desperately holding onto bookmarks and trinkets when: 1) I don't read books 2) trinkets are useless and 3) I don't like the person who gave them to me?

In a way, I guess it really is "life lightening". Remember the 90s music videos when people would break up and the girl (or guy) would toss/burn everything from the now-ex? That's how I feel about my life at the moment. Heck, I don't even have to hate the giver, but if I don't actively LIKE them, why do I want something they've given me hanging around? Time to put on angry music and get rid of stuff!

There are two exceptions, though only the week will tell if those remain by the end.
1) Winter boots from my high school ex-boyfriend (because those are some n-i-c-e boots and I don't have other winter shoes)
2) A handmade hemp necklace from the same ex-boyfriend (It looks nice)

More to come, along with pictures of "progress"

Let It Go- Day 1

Not my room...but the statement is still 

true

Baby steps. And I do mean b-a-b-y steps. At first, 25% seemed like so much. Actually, after I wrote "one-fourth", I was so tempted to go back and edit the entry and make it smaller. But no. What's done is done, and having run through a quick inventory, I think that maybe 25% isn't enough!

Let's get started, shall we?
In my tiny studio apartment (not including my *full* laundry basket and stuff hanging out to dry), I have:


13 Pairs of jeans/pants/shorts
10 T-shirts
11 Coats/jackets
8 Dresses/skirts
12 Shirts used ONLY for working out/sleeping
5 Sweaters
3 Purses
15 Pairs of shoes
11  Necklaces

This was, of course, not an exhaustive inventory. There was NO WAY I was about to empty my closet to get an accurate count, especially considering the fact that I just finished cleaning my room! And it's just the wearable stuff. That doesn't include books, games, dishes, electronics and other stuff.

EIGHT dresses and skirts? ELEVEN coats?! ELEVEN necklaces?! FIFTEEN pairs of shoes?!

Allow me to break down "the ridiculous" even more:
Coats/jackets: 4 dress coats, 2 summer cover-up hoodies, 2 winter coats, and 3 slummy jackets that are borderline People of Walmart

Shoes: 5 pairs of  4"+ heels (because when I wear heels, I wear heels), 4 pairs of tennis shoes, one pair of winter boots, 3 pairs of summer shoes and one pair of "I don't care, but shoes are required".

Necklaces: 3 pearls, 2 heart pendants, 2 tribals, 3 chains and one hemp.

Just going over all of that made me angry. I mean, if you were to see me on a daily basis, you'd think I have less than half of that. My wardrobe that sees the light of day consists of 2 pairs of pants, the same pair of "I don't care, but required" shoes and a giant hoodie because dressing up and pretending to care can go play in traffic.

With that in mind, the sheer amount seems like gross excess to me. Even more so when I remember that I have an almost full room back Stateside.  I'm not at all eager to get rid of stuff...IT'S MY STUFF! But, I don't need it. I don't use it. It's taking up space. Now that the easy part is over, I'll start the hard stuff tomorrow....

Week 11- Let It Go

I didn't forget about you, and I haven't died (yet).   I have had the most ridiculous month, and I'd rather not re-live it. In fact, I'd like to pretend that November never happened.

No, there wasn't anything particularly awful that happened (though I did find myself several drinks beyond "done" more than a few times). It's more that this month was a waste. I was waking up at 10am, not getting out of bed until five minutes before I was supposed to BE at work. Then I'd go home and flop on the sofa until 1am or the pills kicked in, whatever came first.



I'd actually thought about doing this for a while, but it seems that with "Thanksgiving" coming around it makes more sense. What am I talking about? It's quite simple, actually...


Here's the Deal
I'm going to get rid of 1/4 of my belongings. (clothes, shoes, dishes and so on)


Say What?!
Yes, you read that correctly. One-fourth. A Quarter. 25%. One-in-four.
It seems like a lot, but it really isn't.

Why?
Because I have a an apartment full of isht PLUS a fully-stocked room in the United States AND stuff in a storage unit.

Because of the 14+ shirts I own, I wear a steady rotation of six or seven.

Because I need to start letting isht go. I pride myself on doing what I want, when I want with no apologies. But I can't do that with an apartment full of stuff.

It's November, (for me) the holidays have officially started. Thanksgiving, my birthday (it's a holiday...look it up. It's called "KiteGirl Founding Day aka The Day the Earth Went Off the Awesome Scale"), Christmas, Boxing Day, Kwanzaa, Hanukkah, New Year's Day....

Usually we say "I'm thankful for XXX" It's usually friends, family, a house, a car, a job...blah blah blah blah. I'm thankful for all of those things, but I guess this year I'm also thankful that I am finally starting to get okay with getting rid of stuff. (I'll detail this more as the week progresses).

And on a more practical note: I'm *hopefully* moving in February. Less stuff = easier move.

Reading Rainbow- To be continued...

Notice anything...missing, like Reading Rainbow days 3-7?

That's because they never happened.

Yep. for the second time this year I've totally failed. It wasn't that it was too hard, I mean, it was only a bunch of words on a bunch of pages. It was more that I just didn't care and didn't feel like it. Truth be told, I could probably make it if I read today. I plowed through a psychology textbook from cover-to-cover over 3 days during my freshman year of college. With that in mind, it's not that it was too difficult, it's just that I didn't feel like doing it. I didn't care then and still don't now.

For the past few weeks, it's been hard enough convincing myself to get out of bed, eat  and put on clean clothes for work. So sitting down reading about the power of words really wasn't on my radar.

I chose the book because I thought I needed it, if that makes any sense. After all, coming off of 5 months of sleep deprivation and isolation because of studying wasn't exactly fun.  Perhaps I did need the message and still do, but for now, I'm gonna pass on it (at least until after getting dressed and pretending to care isn't such a chore).

BUT...

being the stubborn person I am, I'm going to try again this month. I'll go through a book in a week. It won't be that book, but it'll still be a paper and ink book. So there will be two weeks for November.