Beggar, Day 2

I have amazing friends. End of story.

Why? Check it out

 THAT is why. That is from ONE person. I was expecting maybe a few packages of ramen or some clearance stand fruit or a can of soda. Not a shopping bag full of food. I’m not complaining at all, though.

I was really surprised. I mean, I felt like an idiot asking…”Hey…can I have some food please?” But I did it. And she went to the store FOR ME, I actually ran into her as she was on the way to get MORE stuff for me. My friends know I'm a fatkid and my stomach would quickly turn on itself. That or I'd revert to putting non-food items in my mouth...like  a pen, cellphone, TV antenna, steering wheel or remote control.....(Yes. I've chewed through all of those things at some point)

And this is from another friend

 

I love Spam. He knows that. Actually, most people who know me know that I love Spam. I hate ham, but love Spam. I hate cheese, but I love Cheez Wiz. Processed food makes me happy. But yeah, he gave me ALL of that. I was expecting maybe a can or two, but not a gift pack AND ramen.

 

Which brings me to my next point:

While I’ve been totally blindsided by the generosity of my friends, I’m starting to feel really guilty. It feels like I’m being a drain on society. I have money, I’m doing this by choice. Mind you, it's a principle-type thing and I'm only doing it for a week, but still. Why are they helping me?  I don’t get it. I don’t like it, either. Don’t get me wrong, I am grateful for their help (I’d fail in a heartbeat without the help I’ve gotten), but I hate it. I don’t want to impose on them. They’re my friends, not my providers. I’m an adult and having to rely in others for something as basic as food makes my heart and brain hurt.

 

I can already tell that this is going to be a “deep introspective lesson” learning week. Ugh.

Having this feeling of being a drain, I don’t understand how people can do this willingly as a way of life. Relying on the generosity of others because you have to is one thing. People like the friends I have are probably the reason that people can stand on the streets and beg, knowing that someone with kindness in their heart will help them. But doing it because it’s easier (and unfortunately often far more lucrative) than working...I can’t wrap my head around it. How does that work? Why? Don’t you feel odd knowing that you’re simply taking the work of someone else and getting the benefits? Especially if you call that person your friend, how can you be a freeloader and NOT feel guilty? Or perhaps they do feel guilty and have gotten good at hiding and ignoring it.

But enough of that for now. I’ve got several more days to beat myself up over this. 

I'm feeling sick *probably from other things* and didn't bring anything to work to eat to distract me. So I'm irritated, want to chew something, and have shaking hands. This sucks.

Beggar, Day 1

I'm hungry.

I had a great weekend and it was a lot of fun. The food was mildly disappointing, but oh well. That’s more because I have food hang-ups about certain things. (I can’t stand gelatinous broths). It sounds gross, I know, but it reminds me of snot and I just can’t do it. Ever since I saw my one uncle in the hospital, the sound of milkshakes in a straw makes me think of the machine in his room. So, I can't stand that, either.

But anyway:

I really didn’t plan this well at all. I haven’t cheated, and I don’t plan on it, but dang this sucks already! I had a few people who were going to bring me stuff at church on Sunday, but I wasn’t there. I didn’t get back until late, so going to see them then was out of the question. Luckily, I saw my favorite most awesome married with a baby people on Thursday. They gave me stuff for lentil curry and some canned prunes. I’m not complaining about the prunes, though...I actually like them.

I’m realizing now that this is WAY harder than I thought. Coming back from the airport yesterday I was hungry and we were heading for a rest stop…Sweet delicious caramel chocolate corn puffs…but I couldn’t eat them…I would have had to buy them myself and it was after midnight on Monday. So I didn’t buy them. And then I woke up on Monday *again* and didn’t know what to eat for breakfast…so it was oatmeal for breakfast and oatmeal for lunch. Sad Story.

I was really hungry by the time 4pm rolled around. Thankfully a package from home came and there was a Nutella & Go pack (came with little cookie breadsticks in a nicely partitioned container) I love Nutella. The chocolate hazelnut lovebaby spread is typically cause for ceremony and savoring. Not today. I was so hungry that I killed the package in a matter of minutes and used a box cutter to slice the package apart so I could lick the inside clean. Oh yes. Nutella never tasted so good. Hunger induced room spinning? Not any more.

I ate more than usual at dinner, as well. I would have enjoyed it, too, if it wasn’t for the fact that dinner sucked! I usually love the stir fried anchovies, but today they tasted like fake crab and soy sauce. The other sides were okay, but not great. But seeing as how it was going to be the main source of nutrition for the day, I didn’t complain. I ate what was available and then went back to class.

Tomorrow has GOT to be better...

From my awesome married-with-a-baby-friends

Week 5- Beggar

So I'm gonna be a beggar for a week. It was close between that and not using English, and being a beggar won out.

Here's the Deal
As of Monday morning, I'll only eat what I get from others. I'd start Sunday, but I'm going to Taiwan for the weekend (yeah, my life is awesome like that) and don't wanna restrict myself from the street food and other Taiwanese fare....


Say What?!
Nothing in my house will be eaten. I'll be asking friends and people I know for food and snacks, and definitely taking my kids up on their offers of random pocket snacks. Before the week starts, I'll be asking around for food and whatnot. I'll still be allowed drinks (only water, that way I don't die...) but other than that, anything I consume has to come from someone else.

Why?
Because I'm a sucker for punishment, cheapskate and a total fat kid. No, really? This is an exercise in depending on others. I don't like to do it, and actually go out of my way to avoid it if possible. I don't LIKE asking for help. Wait, no. That's a gross understatement. I LOATHE asking for help. I know that as a Christian I'm supposed to rely on my 'brothers and sisters in Christ' to help because "if one falls and others are there, they can help him, but woe to him who falls and has no one to help him up!", but it's just not my strong point. I've gone through some really difficult isht completely alone simply because I'm stubborn and refuse to get help and rebuff most offers to help as self-serving, insincere, unnecessary or an implication of weakness on my part (we'll not get into that...).
So for this week, I'm going to HAVE to ask for help, or this is going to be infinitely more painful than my vegan week. Therein lies part one of the challenge, asking. Part two: WHO to ask...

I'm sure that if people knew what I was doing, they'd help me out. But then there are those that I don't want to ask because I'd feel indebted to them somehow. Being the incredibly logical and humble  creature that I am, there are certain people who, while I know they'd help, I'd never ask simply because the idea of needing something from them pisses me off. Me? NEED something from them? NEVER. (Yes, I'm well aware that it's a "cut off your nose to spite your face" type deal, but hey, I told you that I was such  a logical person...)  Still, there are even more people I don't want to ask because they'd say yes seemingly happily, but honestly don't want to help. I hate those kind of people the most. If you don't want to do something, say so. Don't do it and then whine about how you "had to do it" and it was "such a hassle" and caused "so much stress" later.

I'm still a few days out from the start and I'm already seeing that there's going to be a lot more to this than just saving money and not eating on impulse.

I'll see you guys after Taipei this weekend!

SHAMELESS PLUG TIME

So, I've got another blog going on and it's officially up and running. Check it out

Getting to Know Who

Link up, show some love (or hate, or anything).
It's about me and my quest to meet 100 new people...
I'll be updating it far more often than. I don't have a schedule but will try to add at least two substantial posts a week.




Also check out my buddy's blog, Music and Fiction

It's a nice combination of storytelling and links to music that you'd otherwise not have heard of or haven't heard in a while...

**End of Plug**

May, a.k.a "Week 5"

I asked some friends what I should do for Week 5, and these are a few of the suggestions given to me:

• No games
• No men
• Give up English for a week
• Wake up at 5am every day
• No eye makeup
• Come to Canada
• Only eat what people give me

So I'm considering doing one of them, but I'll go over a little bit of each one. (So yes, today's post is a bit of a long one)

• No games

Well, that'd be a challenge for sure, but It'd be a good one. For a while I was in the routine of going to the gym, coming back, getting breakfast and then studying. Then, I got a new game and my attempts to study became half-hearted, at best.  I now wake up, go to the gym, get breakfast and play games until it's time to go to work. After work, I eat dinner while playing games, and I often fall asleep with the controller in my hands or the laptop in my bed.  the only difficulty that I might have with this challenge is the weekend and maybe Tuesday and Thursday. I've been trying to put in two-a-days and so I ride my bike at home and play video games for an hour. n the weekends, I sit on my bike and play video games, so I'm not sure what I'll do to kill the time. Watching a movie or a TV show isn't interactive enough for me. But I'm sure that my neighbors would like a bit of respite from the random fits of gamer range that surface when I'm spawn killed...
Difficulty: 4. Doable, with just a hint of pain.

• No men

I saw this suggestion and died a little (lot) on the inside. I'm really not man-crazy. Honest! It's just that I've found a new...'venue' for meeting people and it's going really well. It has also, however, ruined any and all focus that I've had. My phone is constantly buzzing during work. that's terrible because I'm easily distracted and always tell my students to put their phones away during class. How can I get mad at them for using their phones if I'm checking mine every five seconds? Additionally, I've gotten myself into a bit of trouble. My unscheduled free time is quickly becoming a thing of the past. While I do enjoy having things to do, I'm really bad at turning people down (especially if they're good looking). I'll meet almost anyone once (Don't worry...I'm not stupid...public place, people know where I'm going, they don't come home with me, three drink max...I got ya covered) just for kicks. Almost EVERY weekend in May is spoken for by a different person. If the currently developing situation continues, then I may cancel and regain some freedom, but I hate cancelling on people.

RANDOM SIDE TRIP
While I'm carrying on about meeting people...
I am generally trusting. Like, 'born yesterday' trusting. With that in mind, I look back at some of the things I've done and thank God that I'm still alive without any major traumatic experiences to speak of.
Example 1
I was a freshman at UT Knoxville, 17 years old. I was going to pick up a pizza and hang out at my friend's dorm room. It was raining (Tennessee rain= sudden torrential downpour) and I didn't have an umbrella, but I was happily walking down the sidewalk with my pizza at about 8-9 at night.  A car pulled up next to me and a man said "Hey, do you want a ride?" "Sure". So I hopped in. The guy was probably in his late 20s or so and looked kinda scruffy, but I didn't care. I didn't have to walk in the rain and the pizza would still be hot! So we were driving along and he went past the dorm, even though I'd already told him where I needed to go. "My friend lives back there" "Oh...my bad...just a minute", and he drove on for another 5 minutes or so before he turned around and took me to the dorm. It was a bit strange, I guess, but oh well. **When I told my then-boyfriend about it, he went nuts, giving me a lengthy lecture about how I could have been kidnapped or raped or murdered. I just thought  the guy was being nice and offering a ride**

Example 2
I was walking to the radio station for my shift (this time in West Virginia). It was snowing really hard, and I love snow, so I was making snowballs and kicking snow and just being my silly self. A truck pulled up behind me. "Excuse me..." "Yeah", I turned and looked at him. "How old are you?""Me? I'm 20." "Oh, I thought you were 12 or something. You want a ride?" "Okay, thanks!" and I hopped in. I don't remember the exact conversation, but he just kept commenting on how he thought I was a child. I got to the station with no problem. My friend saw me getting out of the truck and I got a lecture from HER about riding in cars with potential child predators.

Back to where we were before! (Yes, I've since stopped getting into vehicles with men I don't know). I think I could do it, but I really don't want to try. I don't wanna!
Difficulty: 10. I'll die before noon on Day 1.

• Give up English for a week

This one is actually kinda (really) interesting. Considering that I live in a different country and the language is not my own, it'd be a challenge for sure. Then again, because of the people I hand out with, most of my conversations are a mix of Korean and English anyways. So, if nothing else, I'd get a chance to work on my speaking and listening. Of course, I'd still be able to speak Korean at work, since I'm an ENGLISH teacher, but other than that, it'd be Korean, Japanese, Spanish, body language (go to a place where you don't know the language and you will become a MASTER of charades) and in two cases, fleeting glances and stupid giggles.
Difficulty: 9. There's a lot of self control required for this one.

• Wake up at 5am everyday

"Wake up at 5am to work on your dream." It's a very good idea, and way doable, but can I? I'm an early riser (I'm also a night owl. Sleep and I have always had a "less is more" relationship). I get up around 6:30 every morning, even though work doesn't start until 2pm. With all that extra time, I should be so productive that it hurts. but I'm not. The 5am part isn't so bad, but being productive...therein lies the difficulty. Rumor has it that waking up at early to sit through cut scenes and scream at the TV during boss battles isn't very productive.
Difficulty: 6. 5am, easy. Productivity, not so much.

• No eye makeup

I'm not a fan of face paint (Makeup), but I do love me some eyeliner. Going a week without it wouldn't be so bad, but perhaps I should "up" it and not wear my contacts for a week. Glasses AND no eye makeup. Shallow, but for me, I hate my glasses. I hate the way I look when I'm wearing them. It's not "cute nerd" or "sexy librarian" it's "70's science teacher".
Difficulty: 2. I'm shallow like that.

• Come to Canada

No. Friend, I love you. I really do. I love you so much that I'd join your side in a fistfight KNOWING that we'd lose. Going to Canada would be a great change for a week, but I don't have the time or money.
Difficulty: 10. Money. 

• Only eat what people give me

Wow...there's a good one. For a week I would be a beggar. She told me that I couldn't eat what's in my house, but only what people give me or what I ask for. That would be a challenge  because I love food. I have some friends who've offered to feed me if I do it, but this is more of a pride thing than anything else. I would have to rely on others. I hate doing that and avoid it whenever possible. It would be great for my wallet, though. I probably go through $60-70 a week on groceries, and most of it is fruit, vegetables and meat. I see the stares as I drop 3 chickens, 12 apples and a watermelon into my cart. People think I'm feeding multiple families. Yeah, no. Just me.
Difficulty: 8. I would be hungry because I don't know that I'd be able to force myself to ask for food. I despise being hungry.

Week 4- FINISHED

Heads up: there’s a bit of ‘irritation’ toward the end of this post…and it’s not censored.

Ever have one of those days when everything pisses you off? I mean, even stupid stuff like my socks being inside out...it was that bad. Add to that the fact that I had to put on a dress for just ten more minutes...it infuriated me. I'm starting to think that wearing a skirt/dress acted as a barrier to some of my more aggressive tendencies. With the time almost up, the barrier was breaking down, big time.

I woke up late, in a really really bad mood. I was actually pissed off BECAUSE I woke up late. I don't like sleeping. I don't like sleeping in. I don't like taking naps, relaxing, taking a break, chilling, taking it easy, just hanging around or whatever else you want to call it. It irritates me. It's a waste of time and energy. Perhaps that's the reason why I tend to take random floor naps (read: I'm in the middle of something and the next thing I know, I'm waking up on the floor), whiteboard faceplants and mid-sentence pencil drops. But yeah, I was not a happy camper when I woke up and saw that my clock said 8:45am.

Add to that the fact that I still had to get ready to go to and from the gym. I was not having it at all this morning. Should I say it again? I WAS NOT HAVING IT THIS MORNING. My sleep was interrupted by a random, but painful, train of thought. It slipped into my dreams and just ran wild. It made me angry at the world as a whole (or at least a good bit of the population).

But enough of my whining. Again, that's what diaries are for. I threw on the green dress. It looks like sweatshirt material. I put on flip flops and went to the gym, where my day proceeded to tank further...and then it happened. I looked up from my pathetic attempts to stretch and saw two ajummas sword fighting with the exercise poles. No, seriously, mutha mutha SWORD FIGHTING. Watching old people do stupid stuff while laughing manically tends to make me feel better (not that it's happened too many times before, of course).

But yeah, the week is finally over. I had a cloud hanging over my head for most of the morning, and still kind of do, so that kind of put  a damper on my joy in being able to slip into a pair of jeans before work.

Not enough to ruin the whole day, though. But I have to say that *gasp* I guess I do look kinda like isht on a regular basis. I don’t know how to do all that fashionable crap, and I’m not going to pretend to be interested in knowing how. During the week, someone I’m kinda *really* interested in said “you look beautiful”. Ok, bea-freaking-utiful. Not “sexy” “pretty” “hot” “cute” or other things far worse. Certain words have certain connotations, and beautiful packs a punch, as far as I’m concerned. It was nice to hear it, but at the same time it sucks, because I highly doubt I would have heard that if I was wearing my standard-op jeans and a t-shirt. Two sides of me are beating each other senseless at the moment, and they likely will be for a while. I only hope that the lesser of the two evils wins.

**Herein lies the irritation, feel free to skip to below the next red line**

“You look more…approachable” Wow…I know people don’t mean to be dickbags, but damn. “approachable”? I didn’t realize that I gave off that much of a deathvibe. I know I’ve got a strong presence, but I need a freaking dress to soften me to the point of being approachable? Shit. Perhaps I should take that to heart and consider being less of an ice queen…

…AND I’m done considering. Nope. Not gonna do it. If you’re too much of a pansy to approach me when I’m being myself, then piss off. I want nothing to do with you. Besides, friends (and anyone who’s seen me in the pathetic state I assume when I like someone) will tell you that once I’m with someone and I know them, I’m (relatively) harmless.

**Okay, it's safe to read, again**

 

I will wear a dress, if and when I feel like it. I will rock my stilts and own them, because that’s what I do. I will continue to wear jeans and t shirts and too many rings and not enough makeup. And if for some odd reason I wanna be pretty, I’m gonna do it, gawkers be damned.

What I learned from this experience:

1)      People are surprised that I can look like a girl

2)      Wearing a skirt/dress seriously limits your ability to be a impulsive and childish without consequence

3)      Jeans are ‘sexy’, dresses are ‘pretty'

4)      Clothing has a serious effect on how people perceive you

5)      Somewhere in me there’s a pink glitter-puking unicorn-loving fairy dying to get out and take over my life. (She shall remain contained, for now, at least)

Back to my regular wardrobe. Looks like crap, feels like paradise.

No Pants, Day 7

So today should be the last day, except that I came home in jeans last Monday, so...almost, but not quite.

I had a good time last night, and he even complimented my outfit (thanks, friend! I never would have put that together myself). He was tall and had amazing hair! (I've got a thing for nice hair...good hair just...KILLS ME). But enough about that, this is NOT the place for me to be carrying on about my date. That's what diaries are for..

I went to church today and felt like an idiot. I had one pair of shoes that would have gone with my outfit (because I don't believe in flats. Stilts or sneakers, there is no middle ground), and they hurt my feet. I knew they'd hurt my feet. They're lovely little demons, my plaid $10 heels from the market. But damn, do they hurt after a few minutes of wear. I'm a sucker for punishment and have an oddly high level of pain tolerance, so I slipped them on and walked for a taxi (2 minutes). O-U-mutha mutha-C-H.  BAD IDEA.

So then I got to church and it wasn't so bad. I had a few friends tell me that I looked nice, and that I should consider dressing like a girl more often. I wasn't offended. My one friend, man. I love him like a brother, so it's quite alright that he said that I should dress like a girl more. The wifey would have smacked him if she'd heard that, though. She doesn't quite understand our dynamic and would have thought he was just being a jerk. But yeah, positive reinforcement is nice.

A little more length for church. Also pictured, the plaid demons.

As my week comes to a close (not fast enough), I'm looking back and realizing that it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. It was nice to do something different, and I'm not gonna lie and say that I hated the attention (but I'm not gonna turn into an attention whore anytime soon. I'll not be plastering anything with self-shots.) As I mentioned in the last post, I do some really random "girl" things. One of them is collect (yes, collect, as in buy them just to have them) formal dresses. I picked this one up in Seoul last weekend.

Party in the front, longer party in the back.

While I do like the way it looks, I can't ever see myself wearing it in public.  In my mind, there are a ton of times that I'll need a dress like this, but I know that I'm just rationalizing. Truth is: I just wanted to have it. $25 and an entertaining conversation with a good-looking salesman. How was I supposed to put it back and walk away, huh?! What I could NOT rationalize, however, was paying $199 for some 8-inch stilts. Yes, it felt like I was walking on elevated pillows. Yes, they made me wonderfully tall. Yes, the salesman was ridiculously hot (on a side note: South Korea, stop doing that! Give me a girl salesperson, or an ugly one,...or at least one that's too young or old for me!...dirty dirty tactics) But he (and they) weren't hot, tall or comfortable enough to warrant triple digits.

Re-reading that last paragraph and the previous posts from the week is a bit strange for me. I can actually "see" myself softening and getting girlier as the week progresses. Thank God tomorrow it's over. I need a drink and some pants, quick!

No Pants, Day 6

It's raining. I usually love rainy days, but I am NOT looking forward to going out today. I'm just not in the mood. As expected, my "unrelated to pants" happiness has gone just as quickly as it came, and I'm left with nothing to show for it. Oh well, I knew it was coming, just didn't know when.

I met a friend for lunch today...Ah, denim miniskirt: I love you (really). I wasn't about to wear today's skirt to work. It doesn't pass the fingertip test...not by a long shot. Even if it's okay for a Korean woman to wear something that short to work, seeing as how I'm a bit more..."dimensional" than them, I can't really get away with it. What do I mean? Okay. Imagine an envelope, the long kind they use for everyday correspondence and letters and stuff. when you put one or two or three pieces of paper in, it's fine. It will close okay and no one will be any wiser. Now, try to jam 12 pages into that envelope and seal it...gets kinda bulge-y and doesn't close properly and it looks weird, right? Yeah...same concept. The envelope that is my denim skirt wasn't designed with my 12-page butt in mind.

Enough about that...lunch was good. I felt a bit more comfortable than I had earlier this week. I guess it's because going out into downtown, I wasn't expecting to run into anyone I know and I've gotten over the stares. My style is... not standard, I get it. NEXT.

Last night was fun. My good buddies the bartenders joked that I was not myself, but rather a (much kinder and more feminine) twin. When I go there, I'm rough around the edges (to put it lightly). "Wow! Who are you?! This is your boyfriend?! Wow!" Then they looked at him and said "Good job!" That's when the guy realized that: 1) I go to that bar a LOT and 2) I was different than usual. He didn't complain, though...so that's a good sign.


Wearing a skirt has...changed me a bit. I guess it's brought out a bit more of the "feminine" in me. I didn't really know I had that, actually. I've spent a lot of time just trying to minimize it because it makes me sick. The mere idea of dressing FOR someone kills me. I've found myself doing it before, though. I'd avoid certain things because he hated them, or wear things I despised because he liked them. And I also know that, given the right "motivation", I would do it again. I will NEVER wear scaled patterns, though. Snakeskin, fish scales, alligator, crocodile...I will NEVER own or even CONSIDER owning anything like that. I just can't do it. It freaks me out to the point where I have to leave the room. I once touched my mom's wallet. It wasn't even real reptile skin, but it brushed my hand and the texture made me sick to the point where I had to run to the bathroom....I just can't do it (so shoot me).  ANYWAYS... while I was out with my friend for lunch, we went shopping. I bought more things I didn't need and even picked up a skirt.

Yes, I wore those heels in the rain. I will never miss out on a chance to rock bright red vinyl.

Then we came back to my house and she (really) dressed me for tonight. Apparently I looked too..."me"...(those were her actual words) to meet someone. She says "After you catch him, this  is okay. But first you have to catch him. They like sweet girls. You look like strong girl." Well, um...sweetie...that's because I AM  "strong girl". I can bench  (and drink) more than most of the men at my gym and I don't care who knows it. So, she tore my wardrobe apart, randomly yelling at me for wearing certain things and never wearing others, and finally came up with this:

I refuse to be taken seriously. I'm in a skirt, plaid heels and white headphones. Eat it. Not pictured: the ridiculous headband she jammed on my head that will never see the light of day in a photograph.

Yes, at 26 years of age, I still need help getting dressed. Feeling naked is an understatement, as I'm not used to showing that much leg...much less on a first "date" with someone I barely know in the beginning of spring in rainy weather going out at NIGHT. I must say, my friend is quite the strange one, though. But perhaps that's why I like her:

Me: I'm gonna be cold! Can't I wear my coat?
Her: NO! STUPID! Always cold...if he is good guy, he will give you coat.
Me: Or I could just take one of mine...
Her: This is Korean girls' way.  When you are cold you say "Oppa...."(older brother/older man) and look cute.
Me: *blink**blink*
Her: Why? That is how you catch. You look cute. He feels happy.
Me: And what if he doesn't HAVE a coat?
Her: No coat? He is babo (foolish).

God bless that girl...needless to say, I will be taking a coat with me. 

And now for the heavy.
Femininity is not something I'm eager to embrace. I don't despise it, exactly, at least I don't think I do. I just don't want to rush into it. I don't want to be seen as weak and frail and needy and "prone to hysterics". I just wanna be. That's where the difficulty comes in. Whenever I do something like this (going on a date, wearing a dress, looking at makeup), it feels like I'm losing a part of myself.  It's not something that I want to see happen. People always described me as "the tomboy". I ran with the boys and could hang with the best (worst) of them. Tramping out in heels and a A-Line feels like a betrayal, like I'm becoming someone else and leaving who I was behind. That's who I've always been. If that's not me, then what is?

No Pants, Day 5

Why hello there, the end of the week. Now that I've almost made it through the hard part, all I have to do is get through the weekend and then I'll be free....oh wait. THAT'S A DIRTY DIRTY LIE!

Skirts are not warm! They are not functional! I was, at 10am, in bed in a Snuggie, Forever Lazy and footie pajamas (because I'm that kind of awesome), dreading getting out of bed *again* and putting on something that wouldn't properly protect me from the cold. Yes, yes, I know. People in cold regions still wear dresses. But guess what? Theirs are DESIGNED for such weather. I've done the shorts and leggings dealie, but those were FLEECE. Also, because I'm likely one of the least graceful and delicate girls you'll ever meet, if I can wear leggings twice without killing them, consider it an achievement! Anyways, because of that I didn't want to get out of bed.

I do like the lack of ripping, though. It's much harder to destroy a skirt.  I was looking at some old pictures and realized that most of the jeans in them are no more. They've moved on to denim heaven (or hell, depending on when they decided to die on me...) Just for kicks, I'll tell you a few of my more "memorable" denim deaths.

• A pair of Delia's flares that I'd had for maybe a year and some change.

Being the incredibly mature and forward-thinking person I am, I decided it'd be a good idea to slide down the (painted cement) handrail at work. It was fun, and the kids did it too. If you did it just right and got enough speed, you could get some serious air and hook around the corner. I did that one day....got some air, stuck the landing....and felt a breeze. The friction from the handrail had finally done my threadbare jeans in....right before class. So I biked home and changed.

• The most expensive jeans I've ever paid for. 

$98 at Coax (my favorite polo shirt store). They fit okay, but it was my first year in Korea and I was desperate for some pants. I'm not a stick, I can't fit most of the jeans here. First day I EVER wore them...I swung my leg over my bike seat and caught the side, ripping the leg from one side of the knee clean over to the other. From there it just went downhill.

• My favorite low-rises that didn't drag the ground or hang too low. 

There's a pretty big difference between my waist and my butt. I often get the dreaded "butt gap"...I can actually fit a soda bottle in the back of my jeans (sad story). Anyways, I hate belts, so I'm usually just tugging on my jeans to keep them up. I tugged a bit too hard and ripped off the entire belt loop...and a good part of the denim it was attached to.

I can't wear skirts for long, anyways. The feeling of denim choking the life out of my legs is the only way I know to lay off the cheez whiz and fried pork sandwiches. Without that, how will I know until it's too late?!

What's this? I'm kinda enjoying this a little...

the song, I mean.

Couldn't pass up the chance to wear SOMETHING denim...the heels didn't come out until AFTER work...no stilts at school!