Week 5- FINISHED!

Sorry about the late posts. I'm fighting a losing battle with apathy. At least, I'm going to call it apathy, rather than the much more likely alternative. Go to sleep early, wake up late, don't feel like eating or doing anything. Just being awake is draining. I don't even have the TV on, I'm just in my room lying in bed. This isn't me. I'm up by 6am and don't go to sleep until 1 or 2 in the morning. I live in the gym, eat like a teenager and have more energy than an 8 year old...my bed and I are mortal enemies! So why can't I just do it?.....

But enough whining like a child (that's what MySpace and Twitter are for)

My fifth week was rough, but not for the reasons i thought it would be. As you saw in the pictures, I received more than enough food from my friends and other people. I wasn't hungry at all. but a friend pointed out that I had it easy. He suggested that perhaps I should only ask for food before each meal, rather than stockpiling it for the week. that would have been much more difficult, as I don't live near anyone and refuse to ask my kids for food!

I suppose I should be all grown-up and accept that perhaps I should ease off of my 'isolationist' tendencies, but who knows. While I appreciate that I have friends and acquaintances who are willing to help, I don't ever want to rely on them. A boost (or well-placed kick) every now and then is okay, but complete reliance on others? No. Just...no.

The other thing is, I asked people I really knew. How much more difficult would it have been if I had asked the people I'm not so familiar with or fond of? That probably would have made for an exponentially more "interesting" week...

This is coming along much better than I had hoped, though. Originally it was just going to be me trying different stuff, just to see if I could do it. But I see now that it's actually making me take a step back and look at stuff and think while I'm doing something different.

Moral of Week Five's Story: Every now and then, a little...assistance isn't so bad.

Beggar, Day 7

So, I failed Saturday last night.  Oh man, did I fail.  I was supposed to meet someone, but the plan changed. Perhaps I should have taken that as a sign that I wasn't supposed to go out, since I would have been financing myself.....Logical, but no. I wasn’t about to change my plans.  I also didn’t eat before (my curry, spam and ramen rotation didn't look so appealing that night).  I also can’t remember the last time I drank water so my brain was not happy Sunday morning.

That never would have happened if I'd stuck with my concept for the week. My wallet wouldn't be empty and my ego (and head) wouldn't hurt.

I woke up with no telephone, but had a raging hangover. Typically I'd head to the MiniStop (a convenience store) and grab a Condition Power (aka Hangover Miracle Juice). I had no Miracle Juice, so that was no fun. But I learned that bananas are my friend! I had one kind friend give me about 12 bananas...good stuff. Another friend gave me prunes, another gave me digestive cookies and fiber bars. Are you trying to insinuate something, dear pals?! That was Sunday morning. 9:30 at night and I'm feeling a bit better. All day long, I had a bunch of things going through my mind. This is way more involved than I thought it would be. Sunday was perhaps the hardest...


After church, we went, as a group, to All That Barbecue. It's a great place, but it's not cheap (at least not by Korean standards). 15,800 won a person for dinner. That's about $15 for a buffet. I still couldn't buy food for myself, so I had to ask for MONEY. It was bad enough trying to ask people for food, but money? Suuuuuuck.  So I did it. I actually found five people at church who were willing to kick in a few thousand won (a few bucks) each to cover the cost of my meal.

And man, did I eat. It was a buffet...I had to get their money's worth!

Beggar, Day 6

I can't do this. I know this feeling, and it's not a good one, I don't want to do anything. I don't feel like eating or showering or even waking up. I just....ugh! Someone told me that perhaps it's just a time for me to rest and be quiet. I've had enough rest! I'm sick of the quiet!

I tried last night, I really did. I went out with some friends, and usually it's something I really enjoy, in fact, I used to look forward to it. Makeoli and all the crazy side dishes and yelling across the place is always a blast. But last night, my heart (yes, I have one of those) just wasn't in it. Rather than try and force myself to suck it up and play nice, I bailed halfway through the night (which is something I really hate doing). I'm just...off.

Typical makeoli side dishes. What you don't see are the numerous kettles of makeoli that you have to drink before you get all of this stuff...It comes out as you drink more. Drink more, eat more!

Another couple of friends gave me more food, They raided the convenience store for salty (and sweet) goodness. I'm a salt fiend...I've no problem with buying ramen and just eating the seasoning package (salty, spicy, fishy lovepowder). I gave up  salt for Lent one year. 12 am on Easter morning I popped a bag of popcorn and dumped it, just so I could lick the butter/salt on the inside of the bag.

Salty goodness. Thanks, guys!

It's come to my attention that I might have a bit of an...obsession...with food. I'm looking around my apartment and I see boxes of food from Taiwan. I didn't buy t-shirts or postcards or souvenirs. No. I bought ramen and snack cakes and soup. There are more pictures of food from the vacation than anything else. My RSS feeds are mostly food porn and food related humor. On the rare occasions that I dream, I dream about food. I talk about it constantly. When I send things home from my travels, a good 80+ percent of it is edible or food related.

I made myself get out of bed. I went to the gym and stopped halfway through my attempts. And of course lousy workouts piss me off even more than non-existent ones. So, yeah. Came back, had a wonderfully healthy meal of 라볶이 (ramen noodles and rice cakes in a spicy sauce) and cookies. My friends Jack Daniels, Captain Morgan and Hite are calling my name...too bad we can't hang out until after this week is over...stop taunting me!!!!! ㅋㅋㅋ

Beggar, Day 5

WHY?!?!?!

I AM NOT A HAPPY CAMPER. DO YOU HEAR ME? I AM NOT A HAPPY CAMPER AT ALL! I hurt my wrist in February snowboarding. Being the failface that I am, I didn't think anything of the throbbing pain. I figured it was just sore because I hadn't used it in that kind of motion (pushing off/bracing) for a while and I fell on it a few times. The pain subsided and I went to the gym, because that's my happy place. It got in the way every now and then, but I thought it was just being stupid. Yeah, almost FOUR months and 12+ needles later, this is what's up. I want to go to the gym. I can see the muscle definition fading and feel the stamina going away. I can't deal with this. Not giong to the gym makes me feel "off', like something is wrong. My two favorite hobbies are eating and working out. Since I've not been able to work out, my other hobby, eating, has taken the reins. Ugh...it makes my skin crawl. And of course, it's my RIGHT hand. My dominant hand. I can't hold a controller properly, so I can't even level up. Sad mutha mutha story.

*Okay. That's all for the whining today*

I'm no longer concerned about what to eat. It's more that I can feel my body on the verge of a revolt. I've been eating a rotation of curry, Spam/ Korean knockoff spam, bananas and oatmeal. I don't read nutrition labels. Actually, yes I do. But I only look for certain information. With that in mind, I had no problem with eating a can of Fam (fake Spam) for lunch Tuesday-Thursday. But anyway, I've been eating crap all week.


I actually ate quite a bit. Decent breakfast (a spam sandwich), lunch was curry and an apple and Oreos and dinner was seaweed soup with lots of side dishes.  A friend gave me my favorite shrimp chips the other night, so like a fat kid, I ate most of the bag.  But, I also ate an apple and a banana.  And drank some Coke.  Another class finished their book, so they had a book party.  Pizza.  So the director brought some pizza over to my class.  I'm not a fan of pizza, so I didn't eat any.  But it was nice that she offered.  I let my boys rock-paper-scissors to decide who got to have the third piece.  

This is not going well for me.  It's not even so much about the food thing anymore, I am just in a ridiculous funk right now.

My refrigerator is stocked, I have plenty of food, I have things to drink.  My friends have stepped up.  They have impressed me.  I'm still undecided as to whether this will have a long lasting effect, but I'm leaning towards perhaps maybe yes.

Sorry for the late post again.

Check back again later today for Beggar, Day 6.

Beggar, Day 4

** Sorry for the repost, I've been having some formatting/feed issues recently**

I forgot to mention this yesterday: one of my kids (I’m surprised, it’s actually one of the ones I really don’t like) gave me half of the ice cream I bought for her. It was a nice surprise, and it made me consider thinking about possibly not labeling her as a complete brat. We’ll see how it goes during the next class when I don’t buy them anything...

Breakfast was curry and hotdogs...lunch was a can of Spam and a banana. And to drink? In the Mega Spam pack, there was drinking vinegar.  For some unknown reason, I don’t like drinking water, so I more than welcomed the vinegar and drank it like you’re supposed to: diluted with water because it’s in concentrated form. I know I’m weird. For a while, I found myself taking straight shots of vinegar (yes, plain vinegar) and eating lemons, just because I like the acidic taste.

Then today, another kid (this one I actually like) gave me a piece of her kimbap. She’s a sweet kid.

My buddies at my favorite bar invited me to a club party.  They’re hosting one this weekend.  Of course I’m going, but how will I get my drink on?  I’m not the type to flirt for a drink.  I’ve done it maybe once, or twice.  It just feels weird.  But apparently when I do it, I do it like a boss.  I don’t know why I’m telling you this story, but I will.

        So...I was at the festival with some friends, and we were in line waiting to buy these really cool   cocktails in a bag.  Yes, it’s exactly what it sounds like…  Anyway, this guy walked up to me and started talking to me.  I don’t know what possessed me at that time, but I said “for this conversation to continue, you should buy me a drink.” And hot damn, he bought me TWO.  After he left some time later, my one friend asked “How did you do that?!” I didn’t know then, and I still don’t know now.  Every now and then, my even more straightforward side makes an appearance and manhandles…HAHAHAHA.

Cocktails in bags....summertime mainstay

                                                     

 Back to the regularly scheduled programming

When I first took this on I was dreading it, thinking that it’d be a week of ramen and water. I didn’t expect ingredients for full meals with options! And this stuff isn’t cheap! Such a drain on them....it’s optional, I know. They don’t have to help, but....dangit. Be jerks! Say ‘no’! Give me something leftover that you’re about to throw away so I don’t think *know* that you went out of your way to get things that I like! Be selfish! Stop making me question my long-held decision to rely on (or otherwise involve) others as little as possible. Why, you ask? Because:

More food ^_^

                                                

THAT is why. Yeah, that is all from ONE person. Again, I was only expecting maybe a Paris Baguette (bakery chain) pack of bread and a bottle of  soda...this is way more than that. And apparently my wonderful food givers don’t want me to die, either. I’ve got apples. Fruit. Vegetables. Bread. Soup. Oil. Drinks.

This is leading me to believe that perhaps I’ve been underestimating my friends. But it’s also made me painfully aware of the fact that if I ever need help, they’ll do it (within reason). I don’t want to be a burden! I feel like a drain on society! Give me the bare minimum that I need. Stop being so...HELPFUL!

 I don’t want to ask anyone for anything else, but with the weekend coming, I know that I’ll have to.  Just like skirt week, I’m fighting with myself right now. Accept that I can and should ask for help, or continue as I’ve been? What to do, what to do...(really).

This just in: Pride and I have a not-so-healthy relationship.  I’m not above asking for help, but man it hurts to do it. Case in point: when I first came back to Korea in my public school job a few years ago, I was flat broke. Like broke broke broke. I lost 1000 won (about a dollar) and started crying because that was my lunch money for the next two days (buy a pack of instant noodles and split it in half...)  For about 10 days, I lived off of canned tuna with steak seasoning, a single loaf of bread and instant coffee mix. I could have asked for help, my friends even offered because they knew I hadn’t been paid. But I said I was fine. One of them picked up on the fact that it was a ridiculous lie and slid me an envelope with more than a few bucks in it. My soul hurt. I needed someone to help me. No...let me say that again: I needed help.  I thanked my friend profusely and felt a bit of guilt when they rebuffed my offer to pay them back later. I believe that people are inherently good, but....just....there are some things I’ll just not understand anytime soon.

‘till tomorrow...