Detour...

Perhaps it's the clarity from not thinking about what kind of dead animal I'm going to eat next, but dang I've been doing some serious thinking. In a way, I really like it, but at the same time, I hate it.

For the longest time, I had no idea what I wanted to do. I was never the kid who said "When I grow up, I wanna be a ____" and that's what I did. Even in university I had a bit of a panic when I realized that I was about to graduate from university and was still no closer to knowing what I wanted to do, despite pigeonholing myself into the dying corner that is journalism and public relations.

For a while, in University, I thought I'd be an exercise instructor. I mean, why not? I love working out and have a ton of energy. It also seemed logical, because at the time I was a group exercise instructor and loved every minute of it. But really, what kind of life goal is that for me? I don't really have the compassion required. I'll be the first, and most likely not the last, to admit that. If you suck I'll tell you. Don't come to me crying...suck it up and do it again. If you can't do it, that's your problem, not mine. Needless to say, I don't think I'd be a very popular trainer.

Then I got REALLY delusional, almost married my *second* ridiculously wrong boyfriend and made myself stay in West Virginia under the guise of "I want to study public affairs!" Yeah...big (expensive) mistake. I was miserable, to put it lightly. I hated my classes, boyfriend, school, the state of West Virginia as a whole....

Now that I look back on it, it was kind funny. The second I crossed the state line into West Virginia, it was like someone flipped a switch. I came up with some pretty..."colorful' statements. Most of them involved fire, death, homeless people and puppies. I was NOT a happy camper.

 Studying public affairs made me more than well aware of how good I am at rationalizing. I'd go to a class and leave fired up and angry at the government. I wanted to work in government because there was so much wrong and I wanted to fix it. I had the energy and the background and the heart of a volunteer to help those who needed it. I was willing to do what no one else was and work with the "undersirables" and be the crazy lady who stood on Capitol Hill with a sign decrying government waste and excess. Hah. I had it all figured out. Then, I'd go sit down to write 12 page paper and realize that if that's what I worked with for the rest of my life, I'd become a statistic. I'd be another accidental death. Death would come when I impaled my temple on a pencil in an attempt to keep my head up, or of blunt force trauma when, completely zombie-fied by data and the daily desk race, I'd faceplant onto my desk and crack my skull. So, when the semester was over, I ran like hell. I got out and never looked back. Half the time I forget I even took a semester of GradSchool because it was a such a waste of time and money. If I could have that back, I'd take it and RUN.

Flash forward six years (wow...six years already), and I'm finally starting to think about what I really want to do. I've always been a traveler at heart, and I never wanted to be a desk jockey. I wanted to be in entertainment. I did PR because I liked doing the promotions. But I didn't (and still don't) wanna be behind the scenes. I want to be the one to bring it to life.

 I want to....be voice over talent. There. I said it. Laugh if you want. I know it's a long shot. It's not even because of anime (though if I could voice an anime character, my life would be complete). It's more that I want to be the one to bring something to life. Without a voice, they're just pictures on a screen. The voices make or break the characters or show.

So, when I go home (for however long that is), I am planning on taking lessons from a voice coach. I will be looking around at anything I can get my hands on. I'm thinking about starting to take online lessons while I'm still here. I know, it's a pipe dream, but I want to at least try. This is the clearest and closest thing I've had to a dream for as long as I can remember.

I've got nothing to lose except time and money, and they'd both be gone in the end, anyways, so I might as well go for it.

My name is KiteGirl. I'm 26. I still love video games, staying up late reading cheesy shoujou comics and watching kid's shows. My hobbies are working out, dancing, singing, and going to the arcade. I'm painfully immature and love a good fart joke. And you know what? I'm pretty freakin' awesome because of all that.